Know Your Stars Hannah Montana Version
by Dr. That Guy
Summary: Title says it all
1. Miley Stewart

**I know there's already one know your stars Hannah Montana style, but this is my version of it**

Know Your Stars Hannah Montana Version

Announcer- Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars

Miley- Who said that?

Announcer- Miley Stewart…is currently dating Oliver Oken

Miley- No, I'm not. We're just friends

Announcer- Sure. Miley Stewart…had sex with Oliver repeatedly

Miley- What? No I didn't

Announcer- Then how do you explain these stories on fanfiction saying you did?

Miley- They're just stories. Fictional stories. They're not real

Announcer- Says you. Miley Stewart…she doesn't know what 2+2 is

Miley- Yes, I do. It's four

Announcer- Lucky guess. Miley Stewart is actually pop star, Hannah Montana

Miley- Liar! Who told you that?

Announcer- The writer

Miley- Well what makes you think he's telling you the truth?

Announcer- Because…he's the writer

Miley- So? He could be lying

Announcer- He's not. Miley Stewart…she thinks people who say she is Hannah Montana are liars

Miley- Because they are

Announcer- then how do you explains these pictures of you in Hannah Montana's dressing room? –pictures fall from nowhere into Miley's lap-

Miley- Umm…photocopier?

Announcer- Right. Now you know Miley Stewart: the girl who is dating and having sex with Oliver Oken and can't add and call people who say she is Hannah Montana liars even though she really is

Miley- Everyone! Don't believe him! He is a liar!


	2. Hannah Montana pt 1

Know Your Stars Hannah Montana Version

Announcer- Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars

Hannah- This seems familiar…

Announcer- Of course it is. You've done this before

Hannah- I have?

Announcer- Yes, but you were being Miley Stewart

Hannah- Umm… I don't know a Miley Stewart

Announcer- Yes you do. That's your other side of you

Hannah- No it ain't. You're a liar

Announcer- Then explain the songs you sing having to do with the other side of you

Hannah- Because…uhh…before I was famous, I was a regular person living a regular life

Announcer- You still are. You're a 13 year old girl going to school

Hannah- LIES! Don't believe him, folks!

Announcer- You know I'm not lying. I never lie

Hannah- Yes you do. You are right now. Where do you get these lies anyways?

Announcer- I already told you, Miley. The writer makes me say them, but every now and again, I add some of my own facts

Hannah- One: You have never told me. Two: My name is not Miley. It's Hannah. Three: The writer sucks and should go rot in

Announcer- Don't even finish that sentence

Hannah- Why?

Announcer- Because…we have to keep this conversation pg rated

Hannah- Why?

Announcer- Could send the wrong message to children

Hannah- Whatever. I'm leaving –stomps off somewhere-

Announcer- Hey, wait! Come back! I never got to do the know your stars thingy! People still don't know you.

Hannah- -silence-

Announcer- Umm…I'll be back in the next chapter with Hannah so please wait and come back soon. And hey since you're reading this already, might as well review


	3. Hannah Montana pt 2

Know Your Stars Hannah Montana Version

Announcers- Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars

Hannah- How did I end up back here?

Announcer- I used my psychic powers to teleport you here, now shut up so I can do my job this time. The writer said one more screw up, and I'm fired

Hannah- Fine…

Announcer- Now then. Hannah Montana…can't sing for her life

Hannah- That ain't true. I am a very good singer. You can ask my fans

Announcer- Hannah Montana…her fans only pity her because she can't sing for her life

Hannah- No, my fans love me and idolize me

Announcer- Hannah Montana…is an elephant in disguise

Hannah- I am no elephant. I'm just a regular teen like everyone else except I'm famous

Announcer- Hannah Montana…she wears a wig

Hannah- I do not! Why do you say these lies?

Announcer- Hannah Montana…where's a wig so no one will know she's actually Miley Stewart in disguise

Hannah- What? Don't believe this liar!

Announcer- Now you know Hannah Montana: the girl who can't sing for her life and have fans that pity her and is an elephant in disguise and wears a wig so no one will know she is actually Miley Stewart

Hannah- What? That is so not true! You're a total liar!

Announcer- I know you are, but what am I?

Hannah- A liar

Announcer- I know you are, but what am I?

Hannah- GRR!

Announcer- -Laughs evilly-


	4. Lily Truscott

Know Your Star Hannah Montana Version

Announcer- Know your stars, know your stars

Lily- Who said that? Show your self, talking person!

Announcer- Lily Truscott…she is secretly having sex with Oliver behind Miley's back

Lily- Hey that's not true! Miley and Oliver aren't seeing each other! Oh, and that sex part is not true either

Announcer- Is too

Lily- Who told you that, anyways?

Announcer- It was on fanfiction

Lily- Oh really? What's that?

Announcer- It's this site where people write stories. They've written stories about you too

Lily- Really? What were they about?

Announcer- You having sex with Oliver

Lily- But that's not true!

Announcer- If it's on fanfiction, it's true because fiction means true

Lily- I thought nonfiction means true and fiction meant not true

Announcer- Nope. It's the other way around

Lily- Oh, ok

Announcer- Lily Truscott…is really gullible

Lily- Am not!

Announcer- Are too. You actually believed that nonfiction meant not true and fiction meant true

Lily- Because you told me it was

Announcer- Lily Truscott…did you know the word gullible isn't in the dictionary?

Lily- Really? I didn't know that

Announcer- Now you know Lily Truscott: the girl who is having sex with Oliver behind Miley's back and thinks the word gullible isn't in the dictionary even though it really is

Lily- But I thought you told me the word gullible wasn't in the dictionary. You mean you lied again? Garr!

Announcer- -Chuckles evilly-


	5. Oliver Oken

Know Your Stars Hannah Montana Version

Announcer- Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars

Oliver- Who was that?

Announcer- Oliver Oken…says he's smokin' but he really isn't

Oliver- It's just a nickname and who are you?

Announcer- Oliver Oken…he had sex with Miley

Oliver- I did not! Where did you get that lie?

Announcer- I read it on fanfiction

Oliver- What's that?

Announcer- A site where people write about stories

Oliver- and they write about me? What do they say?

Announcer- You had sex with Miley. Oh and Lily

Oliver- Well they're lies. I didn't have sex with any of them. I mean, I'm only 13

Announcer- Sure. Oliver Oken…he sleeps with a teddy bear

Oliver- I don't! Who told you that? I'm going to kill 'em!

Announcer- Oliver Oken…he kills people who say he sleeps with a teddy bear

Oliver- Yes, because they're lies! Like you! I'm gonna kill you because you're a freaking liar!

Announcer- -starts crying- I have feelings to ya know –cries louder-

Oliver- Oh, I'm…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings

Announcer- Oliver Oken…-cries- he hurts people's feelings because he's mean

Oliver- I said sorry!

Announcer- Now you –sniffles- Oliver Oken: they boy who is not really smoking –sniffles- who had sex with Miley and Lily and sleeps with a teddy bear –sniffles- and kills people –sniffles- who say he sleeps with a teddy bear and hurts people's –sniffles- feelings because he is mean –sniffles-

Oliver- What? None of that is true! LIES! All lies!

Announcer- Whatever –cries harder-


	6. Jackson Stewart

Know Your Stars Hannah Montana Version

Announcer- Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars

Jackson- Ahh! Who's there? Show yourself unknown voice from nowhere!

Announcer- Jackson Stewart…he ate a llama once

Jackson- Yeah, but it was a chocolate candy bar llama

Announcer- Jackson Stewart…his sister is Hannah Montana

Jackson- Oh, she told you? I thought she only told her friends

Announcer- Um, right. Jackson Stewart…he is the smartest guy in the world

Jackson- Thank you, kind voice from nowhere

Announcer- Ahh! That's not how it works

Jackson- How what works?

Announcer- You're supposed to be saying that I'm a liar and that you don't do that or are that! You're messing up my job!

Jackson- Well, I'm sorry but everything you're saying is true

Announcer- Grr…Fine! I'll show you truth! Jackson Stewart…he is the dumbest guy in the world!

Jackson- But you just said I was the smartest guy in the world

Announcer- Well I lied! What are you gonna do about that, huh?

Jackson- Nothing. I don't care what you say. I'm not intimated by you

Announcer- Why not?

Jackson- Because I don't care what you say about me. I like who I am

Announcer- Well then you know what? I give up with you. Goodbye –sound of a door shuts-

Jackson- Well um…I guess you now know me: the guy who ate a chocolate llama who is related to Hannah Montana and is both the smartest and dumbest guy in the world. Good night, folks –walks somewhere else and disappears-


	7. Robbie Stewart

Know Your Stars Hannah Montana Version

Announcer- Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars

Robbie - Who was that?

Announcer- Robbie Stewart…that is your name right?

Robbie- Yeah…who are you?

Announcer- The announcer

Robbie- Oh, ok. Then announcer

Announcer- Right. Robbie Stewart…uh Robbie Stewart…um…

Robbie- Go on. Tell 'em about me

Announcer- We have a little problem

Robbie- What?

Announcer- I don't really know anything about you

Robbie- Why not?

Announcer- Well you're kinda my least favorite character on the show

Robbie What? Why?

Announcer- You're not really funny

Robbie- I am so funny! You just don't appreciate my funniness

Announcer- Yeah…well now I guess you don't know Robbie Stewart

Robbie- You're right they don't

Announcer- Whatever. Well early lunch. Bye –sound of door opening and then closing-

Robbie- Well I can talk about myself –people throw tomatoes at him- or not


	8. Cooper

Know Your Stars Hannah Montana Version

Announcer- Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars

Cooper- Hello? Who was that?

Announcer- Cooper…um Cooper…I'm sorry but umm what's your last name?

Cooper- Why do you wanna know?

Announcer- Because I need to know for my job

Cooper- Job? What job?

Announcer- It's my job to tell people about you

Cooper- So why do you need to know my last name?

Announcer- So everyone will know you and your name

Cooper- Well, I don't like my last name. I'm kind of embarrassed by it

Announcer- Well, I can understand. So let's just get started, ok?

Cooper- Okey dokey

Announcer- Cooper…his idol is Big Bird

Cooper- Say what? That bid ain't my idol. I don't even watch that show anymore

Announcer- Cooper…he hasn't showered in 9 years

Cooper- What? Yeah I have. I took one just this morning

Announcer- Cooper…he's dating a squirrel name Shirley

Cooper- I'm sorry did you say a 'squirrel'?

Announcer- Yup

Cooper- That's what I thought. I am not dating a squirrel. I don't even know any squirrels

Announcer- Sure, squirrel dater. Cooper… he loves cooking

Cooper- Well…I uh…who told you that? Was it Jackson? I'm going to kill for telling that lie!

Announcer- Cooper…he likes to kill people who say he cooks

Cooper- Wouldn't you kill someone for telling lies about you?

Announcer- I guess. That's why I don't tell lies. Only hard cold facts

Cooper- Facts? Everything you've said so far are lies! I thought your job was to tell people about me

Announcer- It is and I am. I only tell the truth. Cooper…he's even dumber than Jackson

Cooper- WHAT! I am not dumber than Jackson! I am way smarter than that dude

Announcer- Keep telling yourself that. Well now you Cooper: the guy who idolizes Big Bird and hasn't showered in 9 years who's dating a squirrel named Shirley and he loves to cook and kills people who say he likes to cook

Cooper- What? None of that is true! If I ever see you, you're going down

Announcer- Too bad you never will! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Cooper- Grr…


	9. Rico

Know Your Stars Hannah Montana Version

Announcer- Know, your stars, know your stars, know your

Rico- Who said that?

Announcer- I did. The Announcer

Rico- Oh. Nice to meet you

Announcer- Uhh, nice to meet you too

Rico- So what do I owe to this visit?

Announcer- I'm uhh here to tell people about you

Rico- You know, Mr. Announcer…you remind me of someone I heard before

Announcer- Really?

Rico- Yeah. There was this voice on a TV show that came out of nowhere and told lies about the star there

Announcer- Uhh…Never heard of him

Rico- Yes you have! You're the guy! You were on the "All That" show

Announcer- Uhh…no I wasn't

Rico- Yeah, you were

Announcer- No I wasn't

Rico- Yeah, you were. And now you're here to tell lies about me

Announcer- Uhh…no I'm not

Rico- Yeah, you are. Ya know, I always loved your act on the show

Announcer- Really?

Rico- Yeah. You were my favorite character. I can't believe they took you off the show

Announcer- I know! I was the favorite character. Those actors were holding me back

Rico- True that. Ya know…you and me; we could do a lot of damage if we teamed up

Announcer- Hmm…we could, couldn't we?

Rico- Sure could. Telling lies about people, getting paid to do it, and getting a good laugh out of it

Announcer- Yup. You know…we should team up!

Rico- Yeah! But uhh first I need to know where you do your work

Announcer- Oh, of course –rope ladder falls from sky- Just climb the ladder

Rico- Sweet –climbs ladder and disappears- You've got a sweet place up here, Mr. Announcer

Announcer- Oh, please! Call me Ralph

Rico- Ok…Ralph. But really this is a sweet deal you got up here. Too bad you'll have to lose it all –grabs tranquilizer gun from pocket and shoots it at Ralph-

Ralph- Huh…oh…getting sleepy…-starts snoring-

Rico- MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! My plan worked! Now I'm gonna be the announcer guy! Now let's which people he's done…oh here's the list. –looks at list- ok…he's done Miley, Hannah Montana, Lily, Oliver, Jackson…oh man! He already did Jackson…well I could always do him again! Have him suffer the insanity twice! Haha, I'm so evil!

**Now how many of you saw that coming? I mean really, who would've thought Rico would do something like this…ok actually I'm sure everyone knew he'd do something like this. Well I'm sorry I havent updated in a while. I've been either having a writer's block or I'm just lazy lol. And I wont be able to update till next Saturday cause I'm going to the beach on Saturday early in the morning, but……..if I get enough reviews I will update before I leave. And I'll be writing some chapters down at the beach so when I come back I hope to have some more chapters done. Till whenever**


	10. Jackson and Rico Team Up

Know Your Stars Hannah Montana Version

Rico- Uhh what am I supposed to say?

Jackson- Not again…

Rico- Yes, again

Jackson- Hey wait a minute…you're not the same guy from before

Rico- Yes I am

Jackson- No you're not. Now what did you do with the original announcer?

Rico- He will not be returning. I'm the new announcer

Jackson- Hmm…who would do something like this… Miley's such a goody goody so it couldn't have been her. Lily's too perky to do something like this. Oken's too wimpy to do it. Dad wouldn't do something like this. Cooper is too cool to do something like this. Rico's…Oh, something smells bad. And that smell is RICO!

Rico- Uhh…this isn't Rico. I'm just the new announcer guy is all

Jackson- Oh, come off it, Rico. I know it's you. I'd recognize your little evil voice anywhere

Rico- True…I must take credit for the evil deed I have committed

Jackson- Now what happened to the real announcer?

Rico- I shot him with a tranquilizer gun

Jackson- Where did you get a tranquilizer gun!

Rico- I know people…-lighthning strikes-

Jackson- Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook…..well what do you want now then?

Rico- It's my job to harass you

Jackson- The other guy already tried that. Didn't work out too well

Rico- Which is why I'm here. I'm much better at this than that other guy will ever be

Jackson- I don't know…you're not doing too good of a job

Rico- What'chu talking 'bout Jackson?

Jackson- Well the real announcer guy always said 'know your stars, know your stars, know your stars' while you just said 'uhh what am I supposed to say?'

Rico- So?

Jackson- That's really unprofessional

Rico- I guess you're right…for once

Jackson- Had to happen sooner or later

Rico- Say, Jackson…why don't you and me team up? I mean with your…well with my evilness and your… your…umm…

Jackson- My intelligence? Charm? Good looks?

Rico- No I was thinking more of your able to come up with insults fast

Jackson- I don't know…

Rico- We get paid 50 bucks a day

Jackson- Deal

Rico- Ok. I'm dropping down the rope ladder –ladder falls down-

Jackson- Cool –climbs ladder and finds Rico in a chair which was in some kind of recording office-

Rico- Pretty snazzy, huh?

Jackson- Yeah it is –sits down in an empty chair next to Rico-

Rico- Chicken wing? –holds up plate of wings-

Jackson- Don't mind if I do –takes wing-

Rico- Now who should be our first victim…

Jackson- I say we start off fresh. Do all of the victims the other guy did and torment them some more

Rico- Cool! But who should be first…

Jackson- How bout one of Miley's friends?

Rico- Yeah, let's do the blonde!

Jackson- Lily? Why do you wanna do her first?

Rico- Because Oken is kinda obnoxious

Jackson- True…

Rico- So it's settled! We do Blondie first

Jackson- Cool –notices a guy on the floor sleeping- that the old announcer?

Rico- Yup

Jackson- Oh ok


	11. Lily Truscott's Up Again

Know Your Stars Hannah Montana Version

Jackson & Rico- Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars

Lily- Oh great…here we go again…

Rico- You got it Blondie

Lily- Hey wait! You're not the same guy as before. In fact…I heard two voices

Jackson- That you did, Ms. Lily. Me, as in Jackson, and young Rico have joined forces together and are now annoying people

Rico- Yup, yup, yup

Lily- Oh, yay. What fun…

Rico- So uhh…what now?

Jackson- Well, now we make fun of her. Well actually, we make up lies about her...

Rico- Easy enough

Jackson- Yeah, but the other guy probably took all the good ones…

Rico- So what do we do?

Jackson- I dunno

Rico- Well I guess we'll just do what we do best

Jackson- You don't mean?...

Rico- You got it…

Jackson & Rico- Tomato Fight! –Starts throwing tomatoes at Lily-

Lily- Hey! Stop…it! –Continues to get pelted with tomatoes-

Jackson- Why? This is sooo fun

Rico- I know! This is so much better than cable!

Lily- No! It's not! Why are you guys doing this!

Jackson- Cause if we don't make people's lives miserable, then we don't get paid

Rico- Yeah, so shut up and take your tomatoes like a girly girl

Lily- Ya know, Jackson…I'd expect this from Rico, but not from you –tomatoes are suddenly stopped being thrown- Wow…I didn't think you'd stop…

Jackson- Well, Lily…I had too because…we ran out of dang tomatoes! HAHAHAHA

Rico- I told you we should've gotten the extra 12

Lily- You guys are rotten, ya know?

Rico- Just like the tomatoes, right Jackson?

Jackson- Yup, yup, yup

Lily- Wait? These…are…rotten…tomatoes!

Jackson & Rico- Yeah

Lily- EWWW! –Starts running towards no where in particular-

Jackson- Well…now what?

Rico- I dunno...

Jackson- Hey, maybe we should call our show, like the remix of know your stars...like "Know your stars (remix), know your stars (remix), know your stars (remix)

Rico- Not a bad idea, Jackson…not a bad idea at all…


	12. Author's Note

**Hey everybody. I'm glad people keep reading, even though I haven't updated in over a year. Keep reading and reviewing people and thank you for reading.**


	13. Oliver Oken, Take 2

Know Your Stars Hannah Montana Version

Jackson & Rico- Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars...-cd scratch- REMIX!!

Oliver- -screams like a girl- AHHH WHO SAID THAT!?

Jackson- we're here to tell you something

Rico- It'll sure to leave you sting

Jackson- and we're going to leave ya…

Oliver- WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!!

Jackson- Hey! You can't just interrupt our rap number, Oken

Oliver- Jackson? That you?

Jackson- you bet your trousers it is!

Oliver- Well what are you doing??

Jackson- What's it look like? I'm here to tell facts about you, with some help from Rico

Rico- Sup

Oliver- ughhh not again….look I already had to go through this one with that other dude and I'm really not in the mood for this again

Rico- Tough toenails! You will get harassed and you will hate it!! Do I make myself clear?

Oliver- but I…

Jackson- DO HE MAKE HIMSELF CLEAR!?

Oliver- YES SIR…S

Rico- Great. Now…-cough- Oliver Obnoxious Oken…

Oliver- Um my middle name is Oscar actually

Rico- Oh, my bad. As I was saying. Oliver Obnoxious-Oscar Oken…he likes to smell raw fish

Oliver- Ok one, no I don't. and two its not "Obnoxious-Oscar". It's just "Oscar". Oliver Oscar Oken.

Jackson. Yeah ok whatever. MY TURN! Oliver Oken…he loves gum

Oliver- Ok, you know I have an issue with gum.

Rico- Oliver Oken…he's in love with a poodle named Joey

Oliver- What? I don't even know a poodle named joey! And who names their poodle joey?

Jackson- Oliver Oken…likes to stare at himself in the mirror while dancing to rap music in the middle of the desert with a video camera taping his every super funky fresh dance moves

Oliver- So many things wrong with that sentence…

Rico- Well, I guess you now know Oliver Obnoxious-Oscar Oken a little better. The dude who loves both poodles named joey and staring at himself in the mirror while dancing to rap music in deserts with video cameras while chewing gum

Oliver- NONE OF THAT IS TRUE PEOPLE! I don't love poodles!

Jackson- Oh, so you're a poodle hater? I see how it is

Oliver- …wait no, that's not true! I mean, I like poodles

Rico- oh so you actually do love poodles?

Oliver- why me…why….me…

Jackson- Oh you know you love the attention

Oliver- Well…

Jackson- yeah ok, till next time everybody! PEACE OUT!


End file.
